i want to write something tonight about something other than my job seach. however my head has been so caught up in it that it can't seem to think anymore.

this is not good.

i want to tell you about a friend of mine who recently resurfaced. actually, i want to share a conversation we had yesterday ...

"T - oh my gosh - how are you?"
"stay in the car, stay in the car"
uh, okay i said hesitantly. the only thing i have on my mind at that time of day is getting my kids to the dinner table by 6 and magically producing some food atop of it.
"girl, where've you been - were you in jail again?"
"yes! did my mom tell you?"
"no - but i haven't seen you in a while ... what happened"
"i violated my restraining order."

ugh, i can't do this right now.

just checked our checking account and the amount said $0. CA state cleaned us out, which was easy to do since hubby hasn't gotten a paycheck in a month. hope Uncle Sam gets his act together with our refund. that would be helpful right about now.

this is when i just close my eyes and believe that in a year, none of this will matter. in a month even.

nothing i can do or say will change the way things are right now. so why freak out like I r e a l l y want to?

thank god for direct deposit advances.

thank god for new jobs.

something really good better come my way for giving so much notice at a time when i couldn't afford to. i mean i hope they're grateful.

they are. everyone's being really nice to me at work. i can tell most everybody respects the heck out of me getting out of dodge and into a better gig.

but i'm still broke.

oh well. there are worse things I could be ...