After a hard day's work ...

there is too much i need to say right now. it is overwhelming so i just need to think out loud and get it all out so i don't shut down and stuff it back like i'm trying not to puke ...

back to the "group mind" concept ... i finally brought some beef over there. and it's exciting what's happening and all. i am infused with the sense that something very small that i do can make a very small difference or just set off a few or maybe just one very small effect that so in turn becomes a cause and the substance of a million quotes from as many activists is revisted.

or perhaps a million and one quotes from one very small activist who said:

If i seem to take part in politics, it is only because politics encircles us today like the coil of a snake from which one cannot get out, no matter how much one tries. I wish therefore to wrestle with the snake .

he was a person, just a man, like him when he was talking about heroes yesterday.

ok, so my chain of thought just got totally interrupted by mr. coming in and turning on the tube.

we had a great time tonight. it was an unexpected end to a tough day. i knew this day would be tough because i was working on a deadline for queen. queen thinks the whole world revolves around her and her deadlines. the only reasons for ever missing a deadline that are acceptable excuses are her own. otherwise, everyone should be able to bring a pillow and shack up at the office.

forget her.

and i left early for good friday, but later than most, and went to the salon. it had been a while. nothing like a good manny/peddy with a brow wax to make me feel like a lady again.

all dressed up and nowhere to go? not quite...

boy and bud put their "pleeeeeeeeeeease??!" faces on at parent pick up and me and his mom were stuck. they've been beggin us for months. she looks at me, i look at her. um...

"could he come over to our place tonight?"

whaa? (do something spontaneous just like that?) uh, sure that would be ok. (no swimming in the morning). um, ok. yeah. thanks.

and in the midst of all the jumping up and down and yip-hip-hooraying, toddler thought he was going too and got his head bumped by the car door as he tried to follow his brother inside.

oh no honey, you're coming with momma... whaa?

um, you're sure? yeah he is still in diapers, so i understand, whaa....? yeah, i have diapers you could take. um, ok, so here's my cell phone number, let me get your number, um, you'll bring them back? no, we'll come pick them up, that's ok. thanks.

now where do you live again?

(cell vibrates)

Hi babe! guess what? i'm taking you out for dinner. the kids? oh, they're in good hands. um, let me explain when i pick you up. where are you?

no really. they're fine. they went to boy's buds house.

now this is when the reality of the situation hit me and what i had done. i just let a mom of one of boy's classmates put both of my beloved offspring in her car and the time it took me to secure the car seat was not long enough for me to regain my senses.

i don't know where they live and i have only a phone number that prayerfully was keyed in correctly, otherwise ...

and i was in awe of the trust i had. she is a great mom and i knew they were in very good hands. how did i know? i dunno, i just did.

and i prayed mr. would have the same letting-goiest spirit about it. and he did!

and we were like kids in love again scrambling to get to our reservation so we got there early and spent not a dime on new shirts and fat dinner with gift cards saved for just such an occasion like after mr.'s boss filed for bankruptcy so all the paychecks bounced this week.

whew.

anyhow, the meal was grand, which of course we partly boxed for the puppies, and smiled at one another when waiter brought us our fortune cookies. they're not getting these, we might have been saying simultaneously. jinx!

know what mine said?

You deserve to have a good time after a hard day's work. 1 3 12 22 31, 4

and i felt like, wow, some thing's are just meant to be and i'm not in control of making everything happen that's supposed to happen to me.

you know?

what's the numbers for? that's what i said a couple years ago! now mister plays the lottery, like his father before him. not me, but i do now know what those number are for.

but i didn't see lotto numbers. i saw a blogger profile. and try as i did later after pups were in bed, no combination brought about a new blog discovery.

but it was a pretty cool idea, i thought. and woulda been the perfect bright red cherry on the top of my day.

i found this instead.