Joe Fernandez Age 74 Pace 736 for 15K in Freezing Rain

I did this today. It wasn't 15K, maybe 2+ miles in the rain. minus the snow.

mr. i-talk-to-everyone-and-make-us-all-feel-like family at the Y front desk asked me skeptically,

"you sure you don't wanna just hop on a treadmill?"

as I pulled over my hood and zipped up my not for rain jacket.

"you know, i'm asking myself that same question." i humored. but inside i thought, i'm damn sure i don't want to climb up on a warm dry hamster-wheel today.

today I want to feel something more. no, i need to.

i wanna run with the rain washing down my face and running off my shoulders, dripping off the soggy cuffs of my sleeves and freezing my hands. i need to feel the elements on my body. the wind, the water. to hear the rhythmic sound of my feet splashing down the empty sidewalk around the ballpark and back again.

besides, I've skied down mountains in blizzards. Why turn into such a wuss in the city?

and wuss i wasn't. there was this unspoken fellowship between us non-wusses today and it was hands down the best time I've had running. ever.

gonna do it again tomorrow. pray for rain, k?.

a year ago I couldn't make it a fourth of the distance i ran today without breaking down and walking / hating life all in the same moment. huffin and puffin along.

something to smile about.

good things are around the corner, I can feel it in my bone marrow. I just need to hang on a little longer. just past tomorrow.

and i want to go out and kareoke and sing with so much soul and passion that i have folks begging for more and then i'll bring my magic mic to their parties and get paid to sing and mc while they sing and wouldn't that be SO cool at $300 a night?

who says I don't dream anymore?

mr.'s paycheck bounced today. ever see Civil Action with John Travolta? Well. that's what his job is like right now. we can't afford his job right now.

i need to believe i can support this family and then maybe mr. could go to school and man the kids and stuff.

i must believe this will all be okay someday.

i need an Oprah moment of the seize-the-day-and-live-the-rest-of-my-life-insanely rich-and-happily-ever-after variety.

diggin tony & co. tonight. need sleep now.