New Blogger

Leave it to Google to forge into the future without forgetting the past. I didn't expect to find Polliblog up still and it is - whew!

wanted to start blogging again.......

here goes.

i'm going to join a tennis team i think. tomorrow is the big day. two teams said they had room for more players.

two losing teams.

all the winning teams seem to come from the fancy clubs. i don't want a club. just a tennis team that practices and plays on local public courts.

i think it'll be fun. been playing soccer, but it's not the same now that i'm trying to act all tame and not trip and bite people.

nope. if i'm gonna play soccer, i have to go all out. but that means it becomes rather too high risk for my taste and age. (i didn't just write that did i?)

yep, so decided it's time to move on.

oh c'mon! at least it's not golf. it's still great exercise. just not a warrior sport. and i must admit, i like those.

until i started playing with men over thirty.

i'm pretty convinced they allow 3 women on the field per team so that there are babes to party with after.

don't let her beat him to the ball. don't let her tell him off when he talks trash. he may start a shmear campaign and pressure her out of her game.

loser.

I was recently reminded of the time when, in my late teens, I was "searching". Truth, God, Faith, Something. Anything, really.

My Mom's brother immigrated to the states and married a Catholic American from Maryland and they settled there together raising their family. My cousins went to Church and Catholic school growing up. My brother and I went to the mall.

I attended college in D.C., about an hour drive from their home, where I started going on the weekends. I would join them at church. I even began going to First Communion classes with my younger cousins...

I was a little too big for both the table and chair where I uneasily sat amidst the young teens. It was my first class, so introductions needed to be made.

The priest or "Father" was a tall, slim, grey-haired, happy man who seemed to enjoy his place at the head of his class.

"Welcome to our newest student. What's your name?"
"S----"
"Oh. Interesting. What kind of name is that?"

Bear in mind that this is rural Maryland, where folks are usually either white or black and seemingly friendly, with names you've heard before.

"Mmmm, I'd rather not say." I replied. Why? I still don't know.

All of a sudden his demeanor changed a bit. He was obviously used to people answering his questions properly. So he turned to his class:

"Well, we only hate one people here right? Can someone tell me who?"

A number of hands raised in the air. "Yes, John?"

"The Jews."

"That's right! Can someone else tell me why?"

Hands raised again. "Yes, Paul?"

"Because they killed Jesus."

And satisfied that he had regained control of his class, he continued by turning to a passage about a cripple.

Much to my Aunt Mary's great disappointment, that was the last weekend I drove out to Maryland for a while. Decided to continue my search elsewhere...

Wow, I've missed this and you. Plus, I can't believe how much has changed and also stayed the same.

I got into my first real fight two weekends ago. It was at the first game I played in a new soccer league I was joining. The uniform was slick, the field was grass, the competition was slow but ruthless. End of the second half they were still down 1-to-zip. One of the women from their team started messing with my teammate. Women are the worst.

"You're hitting me while I'm standing still."
"This is soccer not ballet."

Next this woman was coming up from behind my teammate and power kicked her to the ground. Next thing I saw was red...

No decisions were made. No hesitation or thought process. Just pure, raw, emotional reaction. As I rushed at her down the field, not a care was on my downed teammate, just a maniacal need to yank the ponytail out of her attacker's pretty little head.

Never had the chance though, as her bench was nearby and upon me before I could get there. Thank goodness it was a co-ed league, cause the men seemed to know just what to do in such a situation, as they pulled people off eachother and me.

Then I saw the would-not-be ballerina being walked away and as I screamed and pointed in her face "that was all YOU!", I saw the red streaks across her lovely cheek where she had been deeply scratched. Guess I got there afterall.

I mailed my uniform back 3 days later. The League doesn't tolerate fighting. Who knew I didn't either?

I came home and told my husband what happened and he quietly replied, "hope you don't run into any of those people at church."

Downtime

Nothing like a little time away from everyday life to reconnect with me. Can't believe i'm down to a post a month - if that. Hmmm...

I'm at a lovely b&b in Seattle and came to polliblog for some pix i posted of my cousin who passed away in march.

his memorial is tomorrow and i received a card in the mail months ago, inviting me to put something creative and memorable on an 8.5x11 in piece of paper and bring it for the keepsake book they're putting together in his memory.

i went for a run around a nearby lake this morning and felt something for the first time in weeks other than frustration, stress and anxiety.

new job is great - a means to an end, but one step away from it and I see how consumed i am with providing, planning, scheming and taking care of this family.

what it must be like to not have children - such freedom. but I wouldn't trade it.

anyhow, back to the memorial. I decided i needed to bring something for this book on my cousin and i wrote this below and will put it together with some pix.

hope to be back soon, thanks for visiting after all this time.

Many of my memories of Z are from the ski trips our families used to make every year while we were growing up. His was the first voice I would hear as I walked in for breakfast in the morning, usually giggling about something or laughing at somebody. What a contagious laugh! I could never quite figure out whom or what was so funny, but I still had to laugh anyhow, and realize now it was most likely at me.

Aunt Zo had this phrase she would repeat when we were younger, a motto really, “Strangers are just the friends I haven’t met yet.” Z seemed to take this particularly to heart and, literally, made friends out of strangers wherever he went. Many times we would come down to the plaza from the ski slopes and he’d be there talking to someone new every time, as he waited for the rest of us at the end of the day. Sometimes it was an older gentleman, other times a college student with a few of their friends, next a young married couple. It didn’t matter who or how old they were, Z could magically connect with just about anybody.

He simply enjoyed people and every bit of what someone brought to the table. He could see right through to the heart of you and poke fun at all your shameful flaws, which in the end, you’d be much more willing to accept with a healthy dose of his humor. That was Z’s gift and what I will remember him for most of all.
In the end, he proved to me that no matter what dice you throw, you can always find the best move, play a great game (backgammon, of course!) and be a champion in the end. I am more proud of him than of anyone I’ve known. Because of his example and unimaginable courage, I will live each moment of my life with more gratitude and awe. I will speak honestly, as he always could. I will listen to the other side, no matter how strongly I disagree, and in the end, I may still disagree, but at least I’ll know exactly why.

Slacker

I need to get here more often. First post in July. I'm a slacker.

Welp, gotta run and feen the chillens. Hope to be back again soon.

off the grid

i think our society is screwed up and messing up people's lives. i KNOW this and SEE this as plainly as you do i'm sure. the incredible thing is how many of us are DUPED.

love is the shit.

if you can't find love and keep it and grow it into something bigger and better than you ever thought possible, then what the hell is life good for?

i'm NOT talking about romantic love, so single folk, keep reading.

i'm talking about the thing that makes your eyes twinkle and your heart throb at the sight of a beautiful morning or piece of art. the reason why you eat til you're full and burp cause you're grateful.

kids make you smile no matter how busy you are with the things on your to do list.

you laugh really loud and annoy most people.

that's the love i mean. and you have to know you want it and look for it until you find it. if it doesn't come right away, you keep looking and don't quit. if you find someone else who's got it, you envy them but eventually imitate them and become like them, much to your surprize and glee.

but that's just me.