Must ... Write ... SOMETHING

I'm feeling painfully distant from my blog. I believe I am running from things I don't want to face about how I'm feeling and thinking. That, and I've been lazy about coming up with words for where I'm at.

Funniest thing I heard lately: thunderstorms are Farting Contests between universal energy forces! Big Tanky said that. That reminded me of Lion King (I'm too into Disney for someone my age) when they were speculating about the stars and Timone said they were "fireflies caught in that big blackish thingy". Love that stuff.

Thunderstorms are a childhood memory for me. We had tons all summer long in New York. They are one of the few things in our world that are frightening and also beautiful. Can you think of any others? I can't right now, but I know there are other phenomenons like that.

Nothing beautiful about earthquakes I've decided. How about taking up a collection to build adequate housing in places around the world where an earthquake happens at least once a day? "Where have you gone? I had a lot of plans for you," sang Hossein Golestani. God, that broke my heart.

I read Anti's best laugh i have all day blog and envy his fearlessness and wonder how long it would last after he had kids. I remember being so unafraid. Ever since I became Mommy, though, I am such a slave to my fear. This has come to me recently. That and the fact that this needs to change.

Whatever natural instinct phenomenon has taken over my heart and psyche needs to be countered for the greater good. I can not be a slave to fear for the rest of my life.

And I must find a way to quit my soul-sucking day job.