Mrs. Z

She's incredible. I called her tonight because my Dad told me to in such a way that i knew i had to. My Dad and Dad-in-Law are the same in this. They understand stuff.

When my Dad's Dad died, my Dad-in-Law told me to call my Dad, so I did. I didn't know what to say so I said, "hi Dad" and he said, "oh, I'm so glad you called, it is so good to hear your voice." Whew.

That's exactly what my Dad-in-Law said he would say.

Tonight my Dad told me to call Mrs. Z if I had her number and I did, so I called her right away. I'm so glad I did.

Everyone is so grieving right now that it is hard to be considerate or even deal with anyone else's pain.

We had a great chat and all the time I tried to pretend that I wasn't in awe of her grace and wisdom and strength, so I wouldn't say anything stupid.

What a sweetheart she is. I asked her how she was sleeping and she said she finally slept through the night last night and that she was exhausted today. She was hoping for full night's sleep #two tonight.

a widow at 30. I wish angels could move into her apartment and have a slumber party so she would never have to be alone. And i find that i don't have any pity, just empathy and respect.

I think I made her cry at the end. (no, i didn't tell her the stuff about the angels).

I am determined to live my life in a way that shows how I have been touched by my cousin and all he endured. These things I have decided to do in his memory:

never try to keep up with anyone. be me. that's good enough.
speak the truth no matter who it might hurt.
seek the humor in every situation as if hunting a treasure. cause it is.

Sleep well, Mrs. Z.